I was dismayed to learn that a new study published by JAMA Dermatology, a respected
scholarly publication, finds that 62% of a representative sampling of 3,316
American women said they completely remove their pubic hair. I was also
shocked, as in my decades as a heterosexual adult male, I never encountered a
shaved vagina. (I won’t answer the begged question except to say “enough.”) My
unfamiliarity with the phenomenon of the bare pudenda may be generational: I’m
a baby boomer and the women most inclined to groom their genitals are between
18 and 34 years of age.
I have always considered shaving the vagina to be completely
weird and a sign of some disturbance, either in the individual or in a society
that favors pubic hairlessness. My dislike of genital shaving goes back to the
time of my first sexual awakenings, when, after seeing a woman in the flesh for
the first time, I suddenly became disappointed and angry at the artificiality
of the many Old Master nudes which revealed hairless pudenda. I wondered
whether it was the painters or the society that so denigrated women that they
wished to submit them to a mild form of mutilation.
My argument in favor of pubic hair begins by asking readers
to consider the difference between the vagina of a woman and a pre-pubescent girl.
If we shear the woman of her pubic hair, her close-up will resemble that of the
girl’s. My belief is that at the heart of all shaving of
female pubic hair is the desire to keep the woman a girl and all that means—callow,
servile, possessing fewer rights, dependent upon the mature and experienced
adult. The shaving of female pubic hair (male, too) is almost a perversity.
Because it makes the woman resemble a little girl, it suggests the playing out
of a pedophilic fantasy.
Thus, the men who want their women to shave their vaginas
want to “puerilize” or “infantilize” them—turn them into immature girls, as
opposed to enjoying their company and sexuality as adult women. Most of the
women who want to remove their pubic hair, however, probably don’t have an
unconscious desire to be little girls, but rather are followers of fashion or
subservient to their significant other. The cultural authority of reality
television, fashion/celebrity media and pornography (much of which involves
pubic-ly-shaved women) is particularly pernicious, because it influences women to
do something that isn’t healthy for them. Like tattoos, shaving pubic hair
makes a woman a slave—either to society or to her significant other.
The really strange thing is that once again, Americans do
something directly against their best interests. The overwhelming majority of
women who shave say they do so for hygiene. They think they would be healthier
without the hair. Wrong. The study points out that pubic hair traps bacteria,
preventing it from entering the vaginal opening. It can also provide a cushion
for what is particularly sensitive skin. In other words, like the small
business owners and blue collar white worker who votes Republican, most women
who go hairless down there are hurting themselves by doing something they mistakenly
think will help.
So far, I have discussed three reasons for what is either a
sudden fad or a cultural turn similar to rock-and-roll and smartphones: 1) The
desire of certain men to transform women to girls for erotic fulfillment; 2)
Extensive coverage of the trend in certain mass media, i.e., pornography,
reality television and fashion/celebrity news; 3) The “new wife’s tale” that
shaving is hygienic, when in fact it is not.
But I also connect the current prevalence of pudenda shaving
as another manifestation of the infantilization of American society, which I
have discussed many times, most recently on October 28, 2014, May 10, 2014 and December 7, 2013.
Infantilization
occurs when adults focus on childhood entertainments and predilections. Their
symbolic or cultural lives imitate the activities of children or extend
children’s activities into adulthood. The growing number of adults who collect
“My Little Pony” toys, play with Legos, vacation at amusement parks, attend
adult sleepover functions at museums, spend hours playing video games, eat
Gummi-bear vitamins, read juvenile fiction such as the Harry Potter books and
watch superhero movies have all been infantilized in one way or another.
Consumer culture
encourages adults to keep behaving like children. Museums offer adult
sleepovers. Both General Mills and Kellogg’s sell dry cereals to adults by
showing them playing at a children’s activities. Glorification of men and women
who refuse to grow up and instead act like teenagers or preteens is one of the
two or three most significant trends in movies over the past 10 or so years.
Think of the “Harold & Kumar” movies, “Old School,” “Big,” “Grandma’s
Boy,” the two “Ted” flicks, “The Wedding Crashers,” “Billy Madison,” “You,
Me and Dupree,” “Dodgeball,” “Step Brothers,” “The 40-year-old
Virgin,” “Knocked Up,” all three “Hangovers,” the “Jackass” movies, “Bridesmaids,” “Hall
Pass” and “Identity Thief,” just to name a few.
Consumer capitalism
thrives when adults behave like children. Children find it harder to delay
gratification. Children act on impulse more often than adults. Children are
more prone to be taken in by magical and illogical thinking. Children more
readily accept the word of authorities. Children are easily influenced by their
peers, social custom and advertising. In every way, children make for better
consumers than adults. It’s no wonder then that our mass media and mass culture
do so much to encourage adults to remain as children in their entertainments
and their thought processes.
The sick twist to
pudenda shaving is that be it reading Harry Potter or collecting My Little Ponies,
infantilized adults are doing something that children do. Shaving the vagina
represents not a participation in childish activities, but a sexualizing
imitation of the physical state of childhood. I write “sexualizing,” because
there is nothing sexy about a child’s vagina. That simple fact combined with
the knowledge that shaving is not healthy should convince American women to
stop applying razors to their vaginas and run—don’t walk—from any man who wants
them to shave down there.