A Satirical Look at the Requirements for POTUS

With the presidential election in full swing, it might be time to reconsider the constitutional requirements for becoming president. The founding fathers thought that if you were a natural-born citizen of the United States, a US resident for 14 years, and 35 years of age or older, you might possess the intelligence, judgment and disposition to become president of the United States. On first thought, it might be reasonable. We would have ample opportunity to evaluate the candidates. We could listen to their speeches, review their past behavior, and make an intelligent decision about which of the candidates would become the best president. And if indeed we made a mistake, the founding fathers gave us the opportunity to correct our mistake by offering us the option of impeachment. Well, maybe not the most effective option.

However, upon reflection, there are many requirements we could impose, but there is one additional requirement that might just be sufficient. Did the candidates pass kindergarten? Not just attended kindergarten, but did they pass or fail? Why is this important? Well, some years ago, Robert Fulghum wrote a book about the importance of kindergarten—“All I Really Need to Know I learned in Kindergarten.” And what were some of those things? “Play fair,” “Don’t hit people,” “Ignorance and power and pride are a deadly mixture, you know,” “It doesn’t matter what you say you believe—it only matters what you do,” and much more.

Do you remember some things you learned in kindergarten? For example: Don’t lie, don’t be a bully, don’t call people nasty names based on their appearance or make fun of their disabilities. Of course, not all of our kindergartners need these lessons, but we know that some of them do. That is why kindergartners and even older children need “adults in the room.” Of course, our kindergarten teachers try to help us learn these things, but sometimes it doesn’t work. What can the teachers do? Well, they might not be able to change the child’s behavior, but they can write FAIL on the report card. Forever — on a permanent record.

And if an amendment to the constitution is adopted that requires passing kindergarten in order to run for president, any parent who would like to see their child advance to the highest office in the land would most certainly make sure to save those records noting that their child did indeed pass kindergarten.

OK, so it’s a pipe dream, but even if no such amendment is ever passed and we know it won’t be, it might be something to think about when we cast our vote for president of the United States of America.

RFS - Retired Educator, San Diego, CA